Each Measure Review: Michellar
FEATURE
Those who have had the pleasure of viewing Michellar’s paintings will notice a few recurring motifs: expansive swaths of white space punctuated by vibrant, freeform flourishes of color, blending into one another with studied grace.
Her songs are a lot like her paintings: they seem to fill an empty room with animation and exuberance. Michellar’s work doesn’t show particular regard for convention, but that’s its strength. Like her paintings, Michellar’s music reflects a personality that’s as unique and expressive as her own. What it communicates most strongly to me is joy – joy of living and wanting to create something that says, “I am alive.”
Her latest single, “Never Say Sorry,” is a prime example of her talent for colorful artistry. “Never Say Sorry” showcases all of the staples of powerful songwriting: a bouncy, catchy, melody, a poignant narrative, compelling emotional stakes, and a chorus that deepens in meaning each time it is repeated.
Since she was accepted into the deYoung Museum Open Call Exhibition in 2023, the San Francisco-based Michellar has seen her music career blossom from silence into a livelycatalogue of emotionally resonate and delightfully eccentric releases. She recalls that she first expressed an interest in song writing at the age of 15, but it took 40 years for her to muster the confidence to seriously pursue that passion. The pessimist in me regrets that we missed out on 40 years of Michellar’s talent, but after hearing “Never Say Sorry,” I understand that it may have taken that long for her to develop the maturity and insight her music personifies.
As a tale of love, betrayal, and forgiveness, “Never Say Sorry” embodies Michellar’s penchant for nuanced storytelling. Despite its exploration of grief, it isn’t a typical breakup anthem. It manifests a far more enlightened and strangely optimistic perspective on heartbreak. According to the artist, the song was inspired by “personal experiences of navigating relationships and the complexities of emotions.” These are heavy topics, but Michellar also emphasized the “message of hope and resilience,” and there is no heaviness or regret in her voice. Rather, it seems to float effortlessly over the pop-rock textures created by the spirited electric guitar riffs and acoustic rhythms.
Lyrically, “Never Say Sorry” starts with a bang, establishing intense emotional stakes from the very first line. “Ever since you said you can’t see me / And I thought, ‘Why not? We’ll be unhappy,”’ sings Michellar in her distinctive, hypnotic alto, and immediately, we are placed on the precipice of heartbreak. In another song, this might be the unfortunate end of the story, but in Michellar’s, it is only the beginning, and it’s far more sweet than bitter. Michellar takes the song in an unexpected direction, expressing hurt rather than anger and appreciation rather than betrayal. “Honesty, sincerity / You showed me that you have all that,” she sings without a hint of anger in her voice, extending a powerful vector of empathy and understanding to the one that hurt her.
In fact, she doesn’t even want an apology, and the chorus makes that clear. “Never say! Never say it to me / That your sorry,” she repeats in the organic, sing-song tones that have become a staple of her music, but it’s the final line of the first chorus that is the most intriguing to me: “You’re not to me.” There’s a certain ambiguity to this statement that stands out me. Is Michellarrefusing her lover’s apologies because she doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong, or is it because she doesn’t believe he really means it? It questions like those that keep music interesting.
One of the most poignant moments of the song comes in the second verse, which builds elegantly upon the musical and narrative motifs established in the first verse. Michellar sings “When you tried to make me feel better / There is just no way for me to take it,” reflecting the bitter truth about heartbreak: no matter how kindly and softly you’re let down, it still hurts. But what’s interesting is that Michellar doesn’t sound sad when she’s singing it, and the music remains upbeat. That’s because although this is a sad moment, it isn’t a sad song. Michellar’snarrator also recognizes that she has to accept the pain, “Because if you love someone, you have to know / That if they come, come back to me / Then will truly be meant to be.” Of course, this doesn’t take the pain away, but it does help to make sense of the heartbreak.
Michellar does something very thought-provoking with the chorus that becomes apparent the second time around, as she’s joined by a passionate group of backup singers. She repeats the “never say sorry” line exactly the same as she did in the first chorus, but she ends on a different line: “This was not really meant to be.” Most songs include a degree of repetition, but Michellaruses it purposefully to drive the narrative that’s unfolding. Michellar’s message becomes increasingly clear as she insists the lover has no reason to apologize because he hasn’t done anything wrong. It was simply not mean to be. The first two lines might be the same, but they mean something different. In other words, a development has happened, and rather than circling back to a sentiment we’ve moved past, the chorus pushes the story forward.
Michellar also makes the most of song’s bridge, which serves as a transitional moment, both musically and narratively. She shifts perspectives to her own. With the lover out of the picture, she now has to sort through her grief and undertake the difficult work of discovering her independence. This is the moment that will change everything.
The final verse shows us what that change looks like. Years have passed and the singer has grown. She’s moved on from the heartbreak, and her feelings of affection have faded. It’s the perfect time for the lover to show up again and reignite her passion. “When you said you didn’t realize / That you had made the one mistake in your life / You want to make, make it right / You said you loved me all your life,” she sings. With the trademark maturity she’s shown throughout the song, she resists the urge to say “I told you so,” but she’s been proven right. Her lover followed his heart and was led right into the arms of the person he was always meant to be with. Our heroes have earned their happy ending.
Michellar repeats the chorus one final time, changing the last lines again as she sings, “You came back to me / And for that, you’re not sorry.” Once again, her words hold a new meaning. He’s made everything right and has nothing to apologize for.
I already knew Michellar was a talented musician and painter, but “Never Say Sorry” has cemented her status as a great storyteller, too. More than just a catchy song, the release explores a narrative, which is exposed and unraveled a little more with each line. Yet it’s also more than just a piece of sentimental fiction. Like all great stories, it teases out a profound truth: When it comes to matters of the heart, there is no room for regret. What’s meant to be, will be. It’s faith in its purest form with a catchy beat to match.
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